Managers Team News:
The team itself, it has two strikers in it who have severely underperformed in last few
weeks but who are due a hat trick each. It has a star midfielder who has been resting on
his laurels too much , and the best defense in the league who unfortunately, although
winning matches, have tended of late to leak the odd goal. All things therefore are due
for a change. |
Managers Team News:
After resounding victories in the previous rounds the 'Keeno's' are
looking forward to a trip to Cardiff for the Cup Final and players have been in full
training, proving their starting places in the line-up. Enthusiasm is huge and
expectations have been raised due to the chairman inviting Michael Jackson down the
training ground for a brief tour and chance to meet the under 11's. Michael wished all the
players good luck before disappearing with a bag of sweets and some small puppies. The
under 11's haven't been seen since but the chairman assures me that there's nothing to
worry about. The 'Keeno's' have also booked the Cardiff (South) Travelodge for the players
to stay in, a self-drive mini-bus for the journey to the ground and C&A have been
contacted about getting hold of some cheap suits (especially as they have just closed
down). No expense spared by the chairman and the board. Players have also been told that
there is a strict 'no-sex' policy before the big game, which is proving difficult for our
midfield pairing who will only room together on match-days and have been known to stay for
extra training just to share the shower space alone. As with all things related to
Sheffield United the 'Keeno's' team have been put together on a shoe-string budget. We
have also developed a number of talented players only for the board to sell them to our
rivals for less than a packet of crisps. The current team value is £47.5m, with £7.25m
being linked to the chairman's (David Pleat) liking for northern prostitutes. In fact
there is joke doing the rounds at the club that you can spot a Huddersfield prostitute as
she always has a pleat in her skirt....?!! Current transfers left = 0 as the manager
believed a vicious rumour that the season would only last three weeks. He still hold's the
league record for 24 transfers in the space of 45.7 hours, all that without a game being
played. That means that the 'Keeno's' have played the last 27 weeks with the same starting
eleven. Great camaraderie (hang on, doesn't he play for Everton?). The manager has vowed
not to reveal his team until after the cup final in a vain attempt to fool the opposition.
He has also designed a new kit for the occasion, and has launched a range of club
cosmetics for the more discerning fan. Rumours that the manager drinks so much that he has
forgotten who he is, let alone the players, are at this point in time unfounded. He does
keep on about switching the Manager of the Month sponsorship back to Bells though? He also
refuses to discuss team tactics, but he was overheard at the training ground discussing a
fourth round knockout at 50/1 with the goalkeeper. To date, the manager has yet to receive
his FA coaching badge, probably as he thinks FA stands for f***ing alcohol |